Thursday, October 20, 2011


I'm hungry.
It feels like it's my tummy but I really think it's my head.

My tummy has had a piece of cheese toast, a banana, and a Diet Coke. (It's a Diet Coke for breakfast kind of day.)

I'm trying to figure out what else in me feels like hunger:

* It might be the Diet Coke. I think that caffeine stimulates my appetite. I've been drastically cutting down on Diet Coke since I figured out it raises my blood pressure. But today, Diet Coke sounded soooooo much better than Crystal Light.

* It might be because I was down another half a pound. I think when I actually lose pounds, I start thinking I'm hungry.



Barb sent me a text on Monday that says "Don't use the term 'lose weight'. To lose something usually implies we hope to find it again. Instead talk about 'releasing weight'. This implies letting go of it forever."

I liked that, I thought "oh, how nice!", but it didn't click until just now!

I am truly amazed by how blogging can help you "see".

And that reminds me of an affirmation I learned a long, long time ago that still pertains to many areas of my life.


What condition?
My fat.
My anxiety.
My lack of money.
My out-of-shape body.
My aloneness.
My lack of trust in men.
My indecision about where to live, what to do.
My health.
My fear of doctors, cancer, death.
My fear of loss of my children.
My hunger.

Using that affirmation would really work for any of my "conditions".
Because, somewhere in me.... there is a need for all of them.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have them.

At least, that's the way I believe.

I release the need in me that has created my fatness.
I release the need in me that has created my indecision.
I release the need in me that has created my poorness.
I release the need in me that has created my fear of relationships.

See? It fits for all of them. And I don't have to figure out what the need is. Which is my first inclination.

As a therapist, I'm inclined to probe and analyze trying to figure out the "whys". Why do I have this need for fat? What is the need? Why do I need to not have money at this time in my life? Why am I setting myself up this way?

But really, analyzing and going into an intellectual place about these needs just wastes time.

The only thing that will work is to go into my "heart place" and just breathe in the words, and pray for willingness and courage to set the needs free.

Much easier to say than to do. But I'm gonna try. And try. And try. And try.

And I also going to work on I release the need in me that has created chronic knee pain.

Think that might work? Worth a try, huh?



  1. Worth a try for sure. How about "The things you think about and dream about - come about." You've got some great positives going, so keep it up.

  2. Have you ever heard of Spark People? Pretty amazing resource!

    I'm the Mom to the other Nena here...I found your blog via the Adams' blogs. You are a brave and wonderful person. Although I've never really had the chance to get to know you, your blog is a stained glass window to your soul, and it's a gift to read about the challenges you face. Reading about yours, which are different than mine, can help put my own into a different perspective. If you ever want an herbalist's perspective on anxiety, diet, and nutrition, let me know. I do clinical herbal consults and have quite a bit of experience with herbs for anxiety, specifically, as well as working with clients on integrating food as medicine into their lifestyle. Thank you for sharing.

    Kristi B.

  3. Kristi,
    Thanks for your support. I'd like to talk to you sometime about herbs.