Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Oppositional and Defiant Disorder

This morning, I weighed 236. That's down from 244 when I started to try to eat consciously and blog.
I do feel like I'm being much more conscious in my eating. And the good thing is that doesn't mean that I'm dieting! I'm still eating what I want - just not as much of it.

If I tell myself that I can't go out to eat - I'll blow it.
If I tell myself that I can't eat potatoes, beans, corn, and ketchup - I'll blow it.
If I tell myself I have to drink 8 glasses of water a day - I'll blow it.
If I tell myself I can't have chips and salsa - I'll blow it.
If I tell myself that I HAVE to exercise - I'll blow it.
If I tell myself I can't go out on Ladies' Night - I'll blow it.

I have Oppositional-Defiant Disorder.

I was not an oppositional or defiant child. As an only child with an only parent, I was much too enmeshed with my mom to oppose or defy her.

So, I have grown up to be an oppositional and defiant adult. Not to other people - I'm way to Southern and nice for that. Just oppositional and defiant to myself.

I need to play the opposite game with myself.

3 comments:

  1. Being conscious is the first step to change. Great job Jen!

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  2. Way cool Jen! I am that way too--ODD to myself. Wow, thanks for writing that!!

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