I started this blog on Thanksgiving Day while waiting in the car for Donna. I wrote:
"Today was successful! (So far. Its only 5:30.)
To tell the truth, after making my turkey spread her legs and sticking my hand up her butt and down her throat, I was feeling more like a gynecologist than a compulsive overeater. Add that to stirring in raw mucousy eggs to wet, soggy cornbread"
At that point, Donna got to the car and we headed to Albuquerque for 26 hours of Black Friday shopping.
Right at this moment, I feel like I've been through the spin cycle in a washing machine. I'm tired, sleepy, dirty, and hung over. And I weigh three pounds more than I did Thanksgiving morning. At some point during the 26-hour whirlwind in Albuquerque, I forgot most of my war strategies and pretty much surrendered to my personal enemy.
I actually didn't do horrible on the food front. Grilled chicken salad at Buffalo Wild Wings (the only place we could find open for supper on Thanksgiving night), a spinach and mushroom omelet at IHOP at 4AM yesterday, lots of Diet Cokes while standing in lines at various stores..... The only meal that felt like a splurge was yesterday's lunch at Sweet Tomato and it wasn't what I ate, but how much I ate. I got uncomfortably full - a physical and emotional state I've really tried to stay away from since September as I think I only get there through unconscious eating.
But, after driving home last night, unloading the car, and stuffing all the bags into my closet.... I was truly in a sleep deprivation fog. I ate a turkey sandwich and drank wine. And wine. And wine.
Now, it's noon on Saturday and I weigh three pounds more than I did 48 hours ago. I think it's probably caused by the wine and subsequent "water weight". Too much of a good thing.
It's the hedonistic part of me that I need to learn to control. The fun-loving, pleasure-seeking part that goes overboard - in eating, drinking, spending, staying awake, sleeping, laughing....
But, right now, I'm going to give into that part and go take a nap.
As my mother would say, "Day-day".