I have been purging today.
Not throwing up. I've never felt that desperate to lose weight. I know that people who binge and purge fight a hard, hard battle all the time. My heart goes out to them.
But those of us who just binge, sometimes wistfully wish that we were thrower-upers.
But that isn't how I've been purging. I've been making my kitchen more user-friendly. That means cleaning to the point that I can now open my kitchen cabinet doors without pretend Tupperware lids, plastic bags, various pieces of forgotten kitchen equipment, plastic pitchers, a half a bottle of vodka, and numerous tea bags cascading to the kitchen floor into a heap.
This is what I purged today:
* 47 lids of pretend Tupperware that had lost their containers
* a gingerbread man muffin/cupcake/cookie pan (I don't even know what to call it!)
Someone guess when the last time I made gingerbread men shaped muffins was. If you guessed NEVER, you are a weener!
* 2 large plastic pitchers that were IDENTICAL to a 3rd one (which I kept)
* 7 lids to travel coffee cups that had lost their cups
* 2 travel coffee cups that had lost their lids and, of course, didn't fit any of the lids I had
* 2 pots and 1 frying pan that I never ever use
* plastic popcorn holders that look like the bags you get at the movies that I thought were so cute when I bought them, but have never used
* 6 little juice glasses (I never have been able to see the purpose of little glasses.)
* cheap Mexican pottery that my mother bought in Juarez in 1958
* unknown kitchen utensils - little pointy things, chop sticks, more little pointy things
* an expresso maker, along with expresso cups and saucers
* a Weight Watcher food scale - never used - never will be used
* a broken Sun Tea jar that no longer works
* 3 two-piece sets of salad tongs that one gets when one orders a family salad from Dion's
* a warming plate from the 1950's
* a toaster
* coffee cups that have lost their importance to me
* a "Precious Moments" casserole dish with lid. Not sure how I ended up with this. I've never been a "Precioua Moments" collector. And, I've never been a casserole maker.
If you collect Precious Moments - or know someone who does.........I'd love to give this to someone who might appreciate it.
After making the kitchen more manageable, more user-friendly, and less clutterly, I moved on to Tyler's room.......
......instead of purging, I hoarded.
What do you do when your 25-year-old moves out and leaves his room a disaster area. Nina and I hauled the dresser, box springs, and metal bed frame outside - hopefully to be taken away by a Freecycle member looking for just what we have. Or maybe a thief will unknowingly help me by carting this stuff off.
Tyler's "stuff" - clothes (that he chose not to move to his new house but would react to if I tried to thrown them away), his books, his sad, little collection of strange Tylerthings - I bagged up and put in one closet.
And, throughout the day, here are the list of the things that I happily discovered that I owned:
* two sizes of juice pitchers
* a vegetsble/rice steamer
* a blender
* a food processer
* a Lean Mean Grilling Machine
* an air popcorn popper
* a sandwich maker
* an icecream maker
* a melon baller
* a wok
I cleaned my "bakers' shelves" and brought all the kitchen equipment that I want to use out of the dark dungeon-y cabinets and placed them in the light. I'll be much more likely to use them there.
The "bakers' shelves" are now holding:
* my Lean Green Grilling Machine, (was used only once before it got sent to the cabinet of lost kitchen things)
* my air popper for making air popped corn
* my Sandwich Maker that I have never used, but I like the idea of it
* my Texas-shaped waffle maker (used twice) but MUST STAY IN THE LIMELIGHT BECAUSE I.T. I.S. J.U.S.T. S.O. C.U.T.E
* my coffee pot..........I don't want coffee but other people do and I must have a coffee pot to keep up my pretense of being a grown-up
In my refrigerator and pantry, I also did big time purging.
* First, I obsessively threw away any bottle or can with a past-due date
* I set aside the orange juice and the mini cream puffs to send home with Tyler
* I purged two large Boy Scout boxes of popcorn
* Hot chocolate, hot tea, fruit juice punch mix
* 2 huge jars of peanut butter (I kept the third)
* cream of potato soup, chicken noodle soup, and other soups that I won't eat.
I have two more days before I return to work. I want to keep purging what needs to be purged and hoarding what needs to be hoarded.
I want to get my Christmas tree down and everything put away for next year.
I want to purge in my bedroom - jewelry I no longer want, shirts that have gotten too big, purses and shoes that just take up closet space.
I keep thinking of the name of my George Foreman grill. I want to be a LEAN, MEAN, GRILLING MACHINE, too.
"Lean" in both body style and "belongings" style. I want to simplify. I want to surround myself by the things I want to be surrounded by - and not the clutter, the clothes that don't fit, the clothes that fit but that I just won't wear, the jewelry that I've outgrown, the materialistic noise.
"Mean" means I want to have boundaries with food - even when it is offered to me by people I don't want to say 'no' to. I want my M.E.A.N. to be based in a strong belief that nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
"Grilling" is what I want to do. I want to cook lean, cook thin, eat lean, eat thin. Grilling is a tool that I must use!
"Machine" is what I want to be. Organized, in control of myself, boundary bound, physically active, physically motivated, physically obsessed. A machine, you know?
When I look at my house, my life - I realize that I have a lot of stuff that I really just don't like. Maybe that's too harsh. I have a lot of stuff that I just don't care about. It's not important to me. And it crowds me and distracts me from the things I have that give me joy to look at and joy to touch.
Anyway, this is where I am now. This morning, I weighed 220. One pound higher than my lowest weight before Christmas.
And I must tell you how AMAZING WONDERFUL it felt today to stand up in the chairs to reach high things and to sit on the floor to clean out the lower cabinets! No knee pain! The ability to pull myself up. And get myself down. The ability to work hard from 1:00 to 8:00 without tiring.
Losing weight feels good.