Sunday, January 15, 2012

I Jenned On Somebody

That's a lot like shit on them. But in my own special way.

I grew up in a twelve step program called Alateen. I grew up thinking and talking about things like "searching and fearless moral inventories", "defects of character", and "shortcomings".

Well, today, one of my shortcomings took center stage and, once again, I was given the insight that my princess-ness can still come across loud and clear.

Like any self-absorbed, narcissistic, only child princess - I forget that not everyone feels the same way I do. I self-centeredly ASSUME that we all live in Jennyland, all have the same needs, and all have the same limitations and boundaries.

I don't know how many times I have to learn this lesson. It comes up regularly.

Not everyone is as spontaneous as me.
Not everyone thinks out loud and verbalizes ideas of intentions, rather than set-in-stone intentions.
Not everyone feels toward everyone else like I do.
Not everyone wants what I want or feels what I feel or values what I value or needs what I need or tolerates what I tolerate.

Everyone is not me.

I am an extrovert. Not everyone is.
I like to be with lots of people at once. Not everyone does.

I don't like it when I lay ME on other people and assume we are the same.
Especially when I'm wrong.

Today, I hurt someone through my assumptions.
Today, I annoyed someone by forgetting that their needs weren't the same as mine.

I jenned on them.

I've decided that a princess is a princess is a princess. No matter how many alcoholic parents you have, no matter how many dads you lose, no matter how many times your husband leaves you, no matter how many years you live as a single parent..................................

........ if you've got that self-absorbed, only child, princess in you......

...... you will fight it all your life.

Love you.
Resistant Princess Jenny

4 comments:

  1. We all get self absorbed. We all get lost in our wants. We all let our thoughts and actions hurt others and let theirs hurt us. You are wonderful in your transparency. Don't beat yourself up too much. Wanting to include everyone is awesome even if occasionally others bail because of it.

    Now you need to write about the positives of being a princess. Only a true princess is bold enough to wear her tiara in full view. That is uplifting.

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  2. I totallly agree with Barb.

    And if anyone should know this, it's me and Barb!

    And being a princess is not a bad thing :o)

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  3. The only way to feel better when you have hurt someone is to apologize to that person. And then let it go and not beat yourself up anymore.

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  4. Yes it is OK to be a princess as the good part shows that you take pride in yourself. But you can loose and let go of the mean part of your inner princess, as difficult as it may seem. Let go of this situation and don't let it bother you any more, just learn from it. Life is so full of lessons like these. It is what makes us human.

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