But I really have felt much gratitude today for the ability to walk without pain; the freedom that being able to use your legs gives you.
I don't know if it was because of my four visits to the chiropractor or the loss of 20+ pounds, but I can now walk without constant knee pain. Praise God!
And I'm not talking about taking walks kind of walking. I'm just talking about getting from one place to the other without feeling dread, pain, and frustration.
It's funny the lifestyle changes you make over time when you can't comfortably walk.
* You learn to carry your purse, coat, Sonic diet coke, computer, phone, and eight plastic grocery bags - all at the same time.
* You learn to
* You learn to do without.
* You learn to hold your pee.
* You learn to patiently drive around parking lots waiting for a "close" parking spot to open.
* You learn to eat at McDonald's and Sonic because you don't have to get out of the car.
Three gifts of awareness I've had in the last two days:
1. Last night, Nick (my friend's Jen's son) and I went to Subway. We carried out four sandwiches and three drinks. After we got back in the car, I handed Nick all the sandwiches and drinks so I could drive but then noticed that we were one drink short. My first response was for us to transfer his lap-load of dinner to me, so he could get out and go back into Subway to get the other drink.
Then I realized that it would actually be EASIER if I went back into Subway, so I hopped out of the car and did it.
The key word there is easier. A year ago... even two months ago ... it wouldn't have been easier for me to get out and get the drink. It would have been a painful O.R.D.E.A.L.
2. Tyler was supposed to come over tonight to get his Subway sandwich (I tell you, I really do go there nearly every night) and I told him to get the rest of the grocery bags out of my car even though I knew that it would be half an hour before he got to my house. After taking in my first load of groceries, I realized I could easily (painlessly) take in the second load. And while I was out there, I realized that it felt so good to be under my own foot power that I wanted to take my own trash to the curb - rather than manipulating Tyler to do it when he got there.
3. (And this one slays me..) I live in a duplex that doesn't have a garage or carport. I have a parking pad. To get to my parking pad, you walk down the 14 stairs in front of my house, turn onto the sidewalk, and walk to the end of my front yard where the parking pad is located.
Sometime in the last year and a half, I quit parking on my parking pad and started parking on the street right at the bottom of my stairs. That made it a clear shot from my car to my front door. That cut out a lot of steps for my legs.
Tonight, I realized that I no longer need to do that.
Last night at Core Flex class, I was aware of things my legs could and could not do.
I could not: sit on the ball and raise one foot off the ground
I could not: do the plank with my legs outstretched.
I could not: do the crazy warm-up dance moves.
But I could: get on the floor, get up off the floor, stand on my knees, walk on my knees, and do leg lifts.
Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore. We're in a bright new world where legs symbolize freedom, rather than pain.
I can't wait to get up and use my legs tomorrow.
They are no longer my enemies.
Harry and Gertrude