Saturday, January 14, 2012

Living With The Good And The Bad

218

Still. But that's great after the kind of week I've had. It's not 244.

I remember when, as a child/teenager/and even young adult, I used to think that, if one bad thing happened, it ruined the day. Days were either good or bad. Weeks were either good or bad - depending on if there was a "bad day" stuck in there.

It took me a long time to learn that life is made up of the little joys, smiles, sorrows, excitements, hurts, peace, frustrations, laughs, disappointments, griefs, loves, dreads, happys, and fears that happen on a minute to minute basis. It takes all of those emotions and experiences to make up our individual quilts called life.

I wish I was creative. I would design and make a quilt to symbolize my life. Today, while I was whining, Barb said "You are creative. You are creative in your head." That's so true. I'm a very visual person. I "see" things as pictures. But they are stuck there in my head. There is a major disconnect between what I visualize in my head and what comes out of my hand and/or my mouth.

If you could sit right in front of me and tap your feet impatiently while I aphasically search for words and wave my hands and arms about - you might be able to get some idea of what I was visualizing and trying to describe. But probably not.

How did I get off on that?

I was trying to tell you that this week - like all weeks - has been a little baby-sized quilt of many colors. I have had worries and excitements and griefs and laughter and sorrow and love and bad times and good times.

And I have stayed the same weight. How nice. My weight has not gone up and down with my emotions. Hopefully, that's a sign of newly learned behavior?

My Week......

1. My friend got diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. She's had a rough couple of years. It was heartbreaking to see this come into her life. But, on some level I know, that even when it looks like someone is getting hit repeatedly by challenges (or horrors - however you want to see it), there is still the laughter, little joys, love, hopes, moments of peace in there. There has to be. It's how life works. Even if we choose not to see the positives.

One thing I learned this week. It hurts just as much to be standing next to someone when they receive this kind of news as it does to be the one receiving the news. I kept praying "show me how to support", "give me the words"....

And I just kept remembering when I got told I had cancer - the wanting it to be a dream, the wishing I could just turn back time. I had so many friends with me that day. Barb and Cathy and Jana and Josh and Gay and Ellen came over that night. Barb and Gay and Ellen and Elisa took me to the oncologist appointment the next day.

I can't describe to you how important my friends are to me. How life-giving. How life-stabilizing.

2. I got an Iphone. That's actually why I haven't blogged in the last couple of days. I got obsessed.

Who? Me?

I stupidly told the Verizon guy to not transfer my contacts so I've painstakingly downloaded them one by one. I've gotten to the E's.

So far, the apps I've downloaded are Facebook, Pinterest, Amazon Kindle, Instagram and a mirror.

If I could just download lipstick, salsa, vaseline, ketchup, Texas, and a fan I would have downloaded everything that materialistically symbolizes me.

What materialistically symbolizes you? What would your avatars be? I would like mine to be different, but that's really my honest list. But it gives me an idea for my next blog.

I'd tell you about the other goods and bads of my week but I've got to go out and live life. I have a lunch date.

And I feel pretty confident that I'm going to eat consciously.

Yay, me!

Love you.....
An iphone owner named Jenny

10 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm so sorry about your friend. She's lucky to have a friend like you in a time like this.

    Interesting question about what things would symbolize my life. I'm going to think on that. :} At the moment, I haven't a clue.

    Hmmm. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't involve lipstick or ketchup, tho. chuckle.

    Deb

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  2. I am sure your friend is very grateful for your love and support. One of the best things you can do is to stay positive and to help her to do the same. Do things with her outside of her appointments that are fun and that will take her mind and your mind off things. Let loose and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. You are most definitely creative, especially judging by your blog. We all express our creativity in such different ways and it never looks as we picture it in our minds. Keep on being creative and positive in your own way. I find your blog to be very uplifting. Have a wonderful weekend :)

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  3. Bible, I love you signing hands, hearts, madonnas, crosses, crochet hooks picture books, and an apron.

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    1. Yes, that's you. And yours is so much more spiritual than mine. Hmmm...

      We should make shadow boxes of our avatars. Or get TATTOOS of them!

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  4. Dearest Jennifer,
    You did th best thing you have to offer and that was being there. It is not alwys necessary to say anything but to be there to offer a kind touch or a shoulder or a hug and merely a caring glance.

    We could have a quilt party. Each person could bring a square that os say 10 X 10 and decorate it anyway they want. But has to be flat so it can be quilted. Knowing it has to have at least a half inch border all around. Then sew them together. Everyone pitch in to have it quilted you get to keep it for and the batting. Then each person gets to keep it for a month of comfort....then pass it on......

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    1. My typing is hideous....

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  5. I love your writing, Jennifer. You are excellent!

    I am sorry for your friend and that you have dealt with cancer yourself. It is such an ugly thing and hurts so many. I will pray for both of you.

    Girlfriends ARE wonderful. I have three sisters and a group of girlfriends that I meet with whenever possible (they are in another state, but I visit regularly), and we have been through everything together. Have you ever read the book by Lana Stewart about Farrah Fawcett's struggle? You will smile, you will laugh, and you will marvel at how wonderful their friendship was.

    Take care

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    1. Thanks, Niecy. I hope things are going well with you!

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  6. Hi Jenny,

    I just discovered your blog yesterday while searching for something to motivate me. I've spent from the then until now reading every single entry. You're so down-to-earth and I see similarities between the two of us.

    Keep the good work. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back but it's still progress.

    Cindy in Oklahoma

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    1. Thank you, Cindy! Are you on a weight loss journey, too? Whatever your journey - good luck and keep in touch!

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