Still. But that's great after the kind of week I've had. It's not 244.
I remember when, as a child/teenager/and even young adult, I used to think that, if one bad thing happened, it ruined the day. Days were either good or bad. Weeks were either good or bad - depending on if there was a "bad day" stuck in there.
It took me a long time to learn that life is made up of the little joys, smiles, sorrows, excitements, hurts, peace, frustrations, laughs, disappointments, griefs, loves, dreads, happys, and fears that happen on a minute to minute basis. It takes all of those emotions and experiences to make up our individual quilts called life.
I wish I was creative. I would design and make a quilt to symbolize my life. Today, while I was whining, Barb said "You are creative. You are creative in your head." That's so true. I'm a very visual person. I "see" things as pictures. But they are stuck there in my head. There is a major disconnect between what I visualize in my head and what comes out of my hand and/or my mouth.
If you could sit right in front of me and tap your feet impatiently while I aphasically search for words and wave my hands and arms about - you might be able to get some idea of what I was visualizing and trying to describe. But probably not.
How did I get off on that?
I was trying to tell you that this week - like all weeks - has been a little baby-sized quilt of many colors. I have had worries and excitements and griefs and laughter and sorrow and love and bad times and good times.
And I have stayed the same weight. How nice. My weight has not gone up and down with my emotions. Hopefully, that's a sign of newly learned behavior?
1. My friend got diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. She's had a rough couple of years. It was heartbreaking to see this come into her life. But, on some level I know, that even when it looks like someone is getting hit repeatedly by challenges (or horrors - however you want to see it), there is still the laughter, little joys, love, hopes, moments of peace in there. There has to be. It's how life works. Even if we choose not to see the positives.
One thing I learned this week. It hurts just as much to be standing next to someone when they receive this kind of news as it does to be the one receiving the news. I kept praying "show me how to support", "give me the words"....
And I just kept remembering when I got told I had cancer - the wanting it to be a dream, the wishing I could just turn back time. I had so many friends with me that day. Barb and Cathy and Jana and Josh and Gay and Ellen came over that night. Barb and Gay and Ellen and Elisa took me to the oncologist appointment the next day.
I can't describe to you how important my friends are to me. How life-giving. How life-stabilizing.
2. I got an Iphone. That's actually why I haven't blogged in the last couple of days. I got obsessed.
I stupidly told the Verizon guy to not transfer my contacts so I've painstakingly downloaded them one by one. I've gotten to the E's.
So far, the apps I've downloaded are Facebook, Pinterest, Amazon Kindle, Instagram and a mirror.
If I could just download lipstick, salsa, vaseline, ketchup, Texas, and a fan I would have downloaded everything that materialistically symbolizes me.
What materialistically symbolizes you? What would your avatars be? I would like mine to be different, but that's really my honest list. But it gives me an idea for my next blog.
I'd tell you about the other goods and bads of my week but I've got to go out and live life. I have a lunch date.
And I feel pretty confident that I'm going to eat consciously.
An iphone owner named Jenny