I feel shame, shame, shame. But I have to blog about it before the "Well, Screw It" attitude sets in.
This morning, I was 217.5.
The lowest in a long time.
Here's the timeline of today:
* Stressful first day back at school.
* 5:15 -- Met friends for Happy Hour. Nina and Donna weren't supposed to show up at the restaurant until 7:45 for dinner.
* 5:30-6:45 -- Two and a half Bloody Marys on a fairly empty stomach. Also, copious amounts of salsa with a spoon.
* 6:45 -- Had to eat SOMEONE ELSE'S taco because I was starving and woozy! And this is how I ate it: I ate the insides first (beef, lettuce, cheese, etc) - like a good girl. THEN, I ate the shell by itself. :-(
* 7:45 -- Nina and Donna finally showed up at the restaurant. I ate a bowl of beans (okay) and one of Donna's tortillas. First flour tortilla I've had since September. And some chips.
Now I'm home and feel all salted out. I've had more sodium in the last four hours than in the last month. I feel like I'm swelling up as I sit here.
I have to prepare myself for not flipping out when I get on the scale tomorrow.
It will be okay.
Today is Nina's last day home before she returns to college tomorrow. I'm reacting. I ate it.
I feel so out of control.
I just need to stay out of the "Well, Screw It" blues. That's what gets me every time. Historically, when I say "Well, Screw It", I stay in that place for months. Or years.
Tell me it will be okay.