Thursday, January 5, 2012

O.H. M.Y. G.O.D! I messed up SO BAD!

itsokayitsokayitsokayitsokay.....

I feel shame, shame, shame. But I have to blog about it before the "Well, Screw It" attitude sets in.

This morning, I was 217.5.

The lowest in a long time.

Here's the timeline of today:

* Stressful first day back at school.

* 5:15 -- Met friends for Happy Hour. Nina and Donna weren't supposed to show up at the restaurant until 7:45 for dinner.

* 5:30-6:45 -- Two and a half Bloody Marys on a fairly empty stomach. Also, copious amounts of salsa with a spoon.

* 6:45 -- Had to eat SOMEONE ELSE'S taco because I was starving and woozy! And this is how I ate it: I ate the insides first (beef, lettuce, cheese, etc) - like a good girl. THEN, I ate the shell by itself. :-(

* 7:45 -- Nina and Donna finally showed up at the restaurant. I ate a bowl of beans (okay) and one of Donna's tortillas. First flour tortilla I've had since September. And some chips.

Now I'm home and feel all salted out. I've had more sodium in the last four hours than in the last month. I feel like I'm swelling up as I sit here.

I have to prepare myself for not flipping out when I get on the scale tomorrow.

It will be okay.

Today is Nina's last day home before she returns to college tomorrow. I'm reacting. I ate it.

I feel so out of control.

I just need to stay out of the "Well, Screw It" blues. That's what gets me every time. Historically, when I say "Well, Screw It", I stay in that place for months. Or years.

Tell me it will be okay.

Love,
Little-Jenny-who-is-in-control-right-now

7 comments:

  1. Yuck. And I have to be totally honest. THREE Bloody Marys. Why am I acting like I didn't drink that other half.

    Minimization is NOT OK!

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  2. Coulda been worse. Don't stress it. If anything it will just be some water retention. hang in there, sista! xoxoxo

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  3. It's a lapse, not a relapse, don't be too tough on yourself!! The weekends coming, just make sure that you get a walk in on Saturday and Sunday and you will be great!! 217 is a great place to be at the new year!! You do ealise that you can loose about 50 - 70 pounds in a year right!! 70 would probably be too much - so there, there's light at the end of the tunnel!!

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  4. Jen you are a strong determined person who has always showed you can push through anything, and Im telling you it will be ok because I have faith in you to push through this struggle :} Be positive and be strong you can do this

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  5. Look on the bright side, you did not wake up at 10am with a hangover and question where you are.. or who that strange 19 year old guy is next to you.. or end up eating his horrible breakfast pancakes swimming in maple syrup.. :)

    Stay positive, look on the bright side, stay strong and move on.

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  6. LOL! Oh, Bzybee, you're right! There IS a bright side!

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