Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Reasons

I'm not really sure what happened that made me want to try to blog to become conscious about what I was eating.

My friend, Dianne, was about to lose a lot of weight and I was envious.

My friend, Barb, is an amazing blogger (joyfulnoiseforajoyfullife.blogspot.com) and was always talking about the personal benefits of blogging. While at Sonic one day, she told me about a blog called Diary Of A Fat Girl and I said, "If I was going to blog, I'd call mine Diary Of An Even Fatter Girl".

Then I went home and did it.

It's the brain of a Gemini. Or a tangential thinker. Or just someone with ADD.

Here's my depiction of how thoughts are SUPPOSED to occur:

Here's how my thoughts occur:

Anyway.....

SEE? I'M DOING IT! I nearly forgot where I was going with this!

Back to Thought #1:
I didn't really have a plan when I started blogging and becoming conscious about eating. I wasn't "getting ready" for something.

"Getting ready" for something doesn't usually work for me. When I was "getting ready" for my cousins' cruise last year, I only lost a few pounds and immediately gained them back. When I was "getting ready" for last summer and the swimming pool, I only lost a few pounds and immediately gained them back. When I was "getting ready" to have a second baby, I just blew it off and adopted!

I don't lose weight as a part of "getting ready" for anything.

I think this is one reason I'm STILL being conscious. My desire to lose weight isn't connected to any certain event or anything else.

During the last couple of weeks, there has been Facebook talk about a 40th reunion of my graduating class. First, there was talk about it being in June.

I don't have a lot of investment in what I look like for my 40th high school reunion. There are no "old boyfriends" in that class, everyone knows what I look like now because of Facebook anyway, I was fat for my 30th reunion, and actually more people probably are even aware of my existence now (because of Facebook) than there were while I was in high school.

I was the awkward, shy, weird, invisible high schooler. Now, I'm the loud, obnoxious boundary-less old woman.

I think it's very good that I was not the way I am now while I was in high school.

Back to Thought #1 again.....
This morning, I read on Facebook that the reunion was going to be in October, not June.

I had the awareness that, if I was dieting because of my reunion in June, I would fall off it today after finding out that I had four more months to prepare for it.

That statement was what I wanted to say. The whole purpose of this post.

Took me long enough to get there, huh?

Love,
Not-trying-to-lose-weight-for-my-reunion-Jenny

3 comments:

  1. You think the same way I think!

    Sarah
    notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. love the raw honesty in your writing. most of us aren't that brave.

    ReplyDelete