If there was a football game in Jennyland, it would be...
ME vs. PARTY TABLE LADEN WITH FOOD
And it would be UNFAIR competition because it would be one person (little ole me) against a lot of little food boogers. They're like tiny, short, fast-running football players (Quarterbacks?) who run so fast into your mouth and make a touchdown before you even know it!
And they tend to run in packs. It's like a whole herd of quarterbacks making touchdowns as I stuff thing after thing after thing into my mouth.
And Jen....... She is my close friend, but she is also a BAKER. And a damn good one, if I say so myself. She's making Chocolate Peanut Butter cupcakes and Strawberry Champagne cupcakes.
I plan to stay across the field from those little quarterbacks.
Jenn's also making chicken empanadas and queso. Lene is bringing pulled pork. Someone else is making jalapeno poppers........ Mmmmmm, my mouth is watering just thinking about the opposing team........
That's a bad sign.
And let me tell you about the amazing drinks that Jen found on Pinterest and is making.
Dreamcicle Mimosas....... can't you just feel that melting on your tongue?
....... and Pink Panty Droppers made of Crystal Light lemonade (now THAT'S dietetic), 7-Up, vodka, and Coors Light! I see those as the CHEERLEADERS of the opposing team. But, in my Jennyland football fantasy, cheerleaders get to make touchdowns!
Unfortunately, I like the cheerleaders..........
Now, my team really isn't just ME. I've already delivered my starting lineup over to Jen's house:
* A BIG plate of shrimp and cocktail sauce. This is my finest quarterback because...................................... well, just because.
* A plate of carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, and crappy Ranch dressing (the best kind for a diet).
* Asparagus salad - got it in the deli and it has a lot of dressing but still looks like less calories than a cupcake.
* Diet Dr. Pepper............. OK! Annnndddd, vanilla vodka to make diet vanilla Dr. Pepper.
* I wanted to take pomegranates but there were none to be found in our little town. So, I'm taking pomegranate wine. (That little football food booger is actually probably gonna make a touchdown for the opposing team! AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS ALLOWED!)
So, right now, tomorrow's game feels pretty much like a toss-up. I've got some good players on my team but - well, to be truthful, I'd welcome some of those hot quarterbacks on the other team with open arms...
If it looks like we're going to have to call the game because the other team is winning by hundreds of points, I can just come home and get in my safe zone, my bed. It may reach that point.
And, by the way, I AM FOR THE PATRIOTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE A PLAYER FROM TEXAS TECH!