Sunday, April 1, 2012
Spring Break Is Not Going To Break Me
Today I weighed 206. Can I actually have a Spring Break where I lose weight rather than gain? That's my goal. I really wanted to go to Texas for Spring Break but I knew that I would sabotage myself if I did. When I go to the big state of Texas, I do everything BIG. I eat big, I spend big, I laugh big, I drive big, I GET big. So I'm staying in New Mexico. Also, I made that commitment to myself to have no alcohol of diet soda until I'm under 200. I usually don't pay to much attention to commitments I make to myself because, let's face it, I'm always running off at the mouth about what I'm going to do, what I'm going to make, where I'm going to move, etc. But, for some reason, it's important for me to stick to this commitment. Maybe to prove something to myself. It hasn't been easy. I've wanted a diet soda every single day. And Friday night, I went out with friends that I ALWAYS drink with. But I took a support person who helped me not blow it by suggesting that I order a virgin Bloody Mary that satisfied my craving for something spicy and hot without giving me alcohol. And, what I know about myself is that I can get just as silly and outrageous without alcohol as with. I don't NEED it to have a good time. Tonight, I went out with other friends that I usually drink with. We had a fantastic dinner at Becky's and I was able to not sample Kara's homemade Sangria. I DID eat two chicken breasts, one deviled egg, two servings of salad, and one glass of V8 juice, but I stayed away from the beans, the bread, the cheesecake, and the wine. Tomorrow, I'm going to Albuquerque, the city with a restaurant in every corner, for four days. I can do it. I WILL do it. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I don't have to have it NOW (whatever "it" happens to be at any given time). There will be more of it later. I am strong. I am conscious. I am awake. I don't EVER have to be as overweight and unhealthy as I was yesterday. I can do this one day/one meal/one craving at a time. Once it passes my tonsils, it was all just food anyway. These are my mantras. Love, Jenny.