Sunday, June 3, 2012

Blue

This morning, I weighed 201.5!  That's the lowest I've weighed in ------- I can't remember the last time.  At least 20 years.

Granted, I weighed six times and only weighed 201.5 four of those times.  I made Nina look at the scale on the 5th and 6th time I got on it and it said 202. 

One of three things had happened: 
1.  I had gained weight in the previous 15 minutes without putting on a strip of clothing or anything in my mouth.
2.  Nina brings bad scale juju. 
3.  I'm really somewhere between 201.5 and 202.

Whatever............ Nina says I really weigh 202 - BUT SHE WASN'T THERE THE FIRST FOUR TIMES I WEIGHED!!!!!

Don't worry.  I don't normally get on the scales six times.  I just couldn't believe my eyes! 

I usually just get on it three times.  ;-)

The other WONDERFUL thing that happened today is that a online site called transformationpics.com contacted me about putting my picture on their website!  Rhonda from transformationpics.com and her husband have each lost over 100 pounds and created this website as inspiration for other people.  I couldn't believe she emailed me!  I sent her two pictures and a blurb about me and today it's on their site.   Exciting! 

And motivating!

However, today I'm blue.  And I know exactly what it is.  It's that part of me that doesn't like to sit still.  And I don't mean that I like to exercise.  Not THAT kind of not sitting still. 

"Sitting still" meaning not going out and doing things..... staying at home.... what other people call relaxing.....

This morning I went to church then came home and sat.  And laid.  And sat.  And laid.  And read.  And facebooked.  And glued stuff together.  And facebooked.  And laid.  And read.  And petted the dogs.  And read.  And facebooked.  And laid. 

NOT.  MUCH.  ACTION.

While laying in my backyard swing feeling myself emotionally sinking lower and lower, I envisioned myself as a balloon that gets caught in wind currents.  Sometimes floating north, sometimes floating south, sometimes taking a quick turn to the west......  But when the wind stops blowing,  like a balloon in a still environment, I slowly float to the ground.  To the lowest part of the ground.  Where I inevitably get stuck on a thorny sticker and pop. 

This is a personality trait that I really need to work on.

I could have gone to the pool.  I could have gone to the park.  I could have gone shopping.  I could have called a friend.  But, obviously, I needed a restful day.

I just don't do it good. 


Now, things are looking up and I'm off to Becky's house for a cookout.

Today was a time to work on being alone and not eating my feelings.
Tonight is a time to work on being with people and not eating my feelings.

YA SEE THE RECURRING THEME HERE???????????

Love you,
Jenn

3 comments:

  1. I had the same kind of day...Karma maybe? I anted to go to the museum in SF but could not think of anyone to invite. I shold have called you but told myslef you wereon a fabulously fun summer adventure. So i went with jordi and pat to Uptown to get jordi a computer and we came home had sandwiches and I fell asleep on the couch. All afternoon. I guess we needed it,,,,but I wanted an adventure......you are not alone <3

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  2. We need to work at being at each other's homes instead of always going out to restaurants or driving around. Refrigerator friends are best but only if we actually spend time relaxing with each other.

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  3. Jenn!
    Thank you so much for your contribution to the site. Your words above described our mission. To celebrate, encourage and inspire those who who have and have not taken that 1st step towards a healthy lifestyle change. Even though we have completed our journey, we still seek inspiration as well. Stories like yours encourage us to keep up the good fight.
    Thanks again for sharing
    Rhonda

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