This is my ONLY enabler.
Somehow, last night I insinuated that Kara and Barb had enabled me by bringing food to my house. I don't consider that as enabling.
I am the one who opens my mouth.
I am the one who closes my eyes.
I am the one who makes the decisions.
My lack of control right now has nothing to do with anybody but me.
Something is missing. I don't know what it is, so let's call it a spark.
It's the spark of motivation. The spark that makes one able to make daily choices based on the future, not on the base needs and wants of right now.
It's the spark that I had from last September until June. Right now, it is undetectable.
And, believe me, I have looked for it.
I don't know know what it is, where it comes from, or where it goes. I just know that I don't have it right now.
Do you know where it is?
I love y'all.