Monday, September 10, 2012

damnit!damnit!damnit!damnit!damnit!damnit!

That's really all I have to say.

Except maybe damnittohell!

I'm lostlostlost. 

I just want to hide.  And I don't even want to tell you about my last four days.  Drinking and arguing and food poisoning and traveling and screwed up appointments and eating and chocolate. 

OUT. OF. CONTROL.
LOST.
FUCKED.

Sorry, but those are the words to describe me.

Imagine a rock climber on a vertical face of a rock.  Imagine my fat little body in rock climber gear.  Imagine me, the rock climber, slipping slowly and then falling fast, 16 feet (or miles.  whatever.).  Imagine my fingers stretched out looking for tiny indentations to grab a hold. 
Imagine each finger move in millimeters - so tiny that to the human eye, it looks like no movement.

Here's the little miniscule finger movements of today:
1.  I told Barb we should go to the Y after work.  Oops!  Backslide!  'Cause then I said I couldn't go today.
2.  I joined/rejoined Sparkpeople and put it on my Bookmarks Toolbar to go to daily and actually try to use their ideas/recipes/website/online community.
3.  I read about a website called HealthyWage where you motivate yourself to lose weight by paying money and then making it (and more) back.  I tried to join but my EFFING CREDIT CARD WAS DECLINED!!!!!!!
4.  I am blogging.  Lot of good that's done lately.

OK.  Deep breath. 

Deep breath again.

Forgive yourself.  You can restart right N.O.W.

Monday, September 10, 2012     4:23 PM, Mountain Standard Time. 

RESTART BUTTON PUSHED.

Love,
Grumpypissedoffmadatherselfgrrrrrrrrrrrjenny

5 comments:

  1. I love your grumpy face!

    But you can do this!

    You've done it before and you can do it again.

    A backward slide (even a big one) does NOT give you permission to throw in the towel. (Believe me - I've thrown in the towel so many times I have to buy new ones just to throw in.)

    It does, however, give you permission to get mad, get angry, get f*&^ing pissed off and that in turn should, in theory, give you the determination to say "F*&^ you Fat Little Jenny - I'm not gonna let you win this one!" (not that you're competitive or anything :o)

    I believe in you and I have faith in you and I love you.

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  2. Jen... you are not going to like my post... but I do it cos I care!

    We made a deal... and there will be NO MORE BACKSLIDING...and even when there is the temptation to backslide then we DO NOT EAT MORE CHOCOLATE.

    if you want to pay money to lose weight why don't you put 10 dollars into a jar every time you are up on a specific day - say Friday morning. Then when you are down you put nothing in. When you then get to the mini goal of 199 then you take the money and spend it! ENJOY!!

    Also - noted that you weren't blogging... tut tut... blogging, like WW and their stupid tracking makes you accountable!

    Just go through listing everything here - EVEN IF IT MAKES YOU CRINGE!

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  3. Let's be friends on Sparkpeople! I still say, try the mostly Paleo thing out...just try it for 30 days. You can still eat and eat and eat, but I guarantee you, you will lose weight! Seriously...bacon every night, full cream in your coffee, ribs, and steak, and shrimp and scallops! I am doing much research on the paleo thing and I am actually in the process of writing a book. I am sure you can succeed on this plan, but you will likely need a little hormonal support (who doesn't???)

    I have not been on spark much lately because work has been crazy and my girls are doing dance and soccer...hello??? Do I do nothing but drive people around???

    My user name is foehnjye there...

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  4. Here's some reading if you needed more persuasion.

    http://paleoparents.com/2011/what-losing-100lbs-feels-like/
    http://paleoparents.com/2011/what-it-feels-like-to-lose-200-pounds/
    http://paleoparents.com/featured/what-losing-135lbs-looks-like/

    I super strongly recommend this book:
    http://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Get-Fat-About/dp/0307272702/ref=sr_1_http://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Get-Fat-About/dp/0307474259/

    Read through testimonials of people who've lost significant amounts of weight via the information on Robb Wolff's website:
    http://robbwolf.com/category/real-life-testimonials/weight-loss-real-life-testimonials/

    Or from Mark's SIsson's website:
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/category/success-story-summaries/#axzz26GmFHZuu

    Eliminating wheat from the diet as a trial would be one place to start. Read the book Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis. It's eye-opening and backed up with all sorts of scientific references. http://www.amazon.com/Wheat-Belly-Lose-Weight-Health/dp/1609611543/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347463674&sr=1-1&keywords=wheat+belly

    Buy a paleo cookbook like this one (there are tons of excellent ones out there)
    http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Paleo-Customized-Whole-Foods-Lifestyle/dp/1936608758/ref=pd_sim_b_14

    And since you don't like to cook, use the cookbook as a reference for how to eat out without eating grains. It's usually pretty easy, order a big, juicy burger with all your favorite fixin's and then ditch the bun. Instead of the fries order a pile of veggies or a side salad. Order a side of bacon.

    The hardest part is relearning all that we've been taught. Fats ARE good, but you want good-quality fats like olive oil, coconut oil (eat it by the spoonful! Yum! It actually tells your cells to burn fat--no shit!!), high-quality pastured butter, macadamia nuts, almonds, walnuts. Some people don't eat dairy, but I do. I buy full-fat whip cream for my coffee. I eat swiss cheese and parmesan.

    Try it for 30 days and see what happens. I lost 17 pounds in my first 30 days. Four months later I'm down 2 clothing sizes and I'm still dropping weight without even trying. It does make me feel like an infomercial, but I'm so impressed I just have to share.

    Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete