I'm so sad right now. You probably got that from the title.
Today, a Los Alamos mother has lost her son. The son was on my caseload last year. I worked with him and with his mom - who was driving the car. He was an only child.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't care who that offends. A middle school girl was also in the car. She is in the hospital right now - as well as the mom and driver of the other vehicle.
Why? Why? Why? This is fucking Thanksgiving.
I know I'm just focused on the horridness of this right now and not on the big picture. I know that I'm not remembering what I BELIEVE - even if others disagree with me - that everything, absolutely everything is just the way it is supposed to be right at this moment. BUT WHY???????
I'm being my mother. I'm sitting up here in the woods with Donna drinking red wine until my fingers are numb. (As they are now.) I'm being my mom because I'm dealing with this by drinking. I don't care.