Here I am after a long hiatus of not blogging, not dieting, not making conscious decisions, not thinking.
Lots of stuff has been going on:
* I close on a new house a week from tomorrow.
* I haven't spent money (or at least my own money) in over a month in preparation of moving.
* I have been grieving about leaving my current house - a feeling that came unexpectedly.
* I had the mother of all garage sales.
* I packed all my glasses, cups, coffee pot, paper towels, and most of my clothes.
* I've been drinking out of a bowl.
* I planned to close this week but then had to postpone closing until next week.
* I decided to restart my private psychotherapy practice to make some extra money.
Yes, that's right. I'm going to be a PSYCHO therapist again.
* The play I worked on won a local competition and is now going to Lafayette, Louisiana.
* I had my 6-month oncology check-up but the doctor had to cancel at the last minute.
* I shaved my legs for that.
* I lost my online diet challenge and subsequently, lost $50.
* My hair has been getting grayer.
* My legs have been getting hairier.
* I have been getting fatter.
* I have spent much time in the dark scary forest in my mind.
* I have worried.
* I have fretted.
* I have obsessed.
* I have hypochondriacized. And made up new words.
* I joined Curves.
* I went to Curves. For awhile.
* I have become a connoisseur of virgin bloody marys - but I haven't drank alcohol since the
Infamous Thanksgiving From Hell.
I need to find myself.
No. That's not right.
I know where I am.
I need to ACKNOWLEDGE myself.
I have to give up this faulty idea that I have that it's OK to feed my feelings and my belly and my hips until I move into the new house.
I don't need to eat until I move.
That part of me that's so scared and jicky right now needs to calm the F down.
And....... Abracadabra! It is SO.