Today I went to an emotionally uncomfortable brunch. I won't go into why it was uncomfortable. Suffice it to say that I was worried about miscommunication and hurt feelings. We went to a restaurant that we had never been to before - close to downtown Santa Fe on Old Santa Fe Trail.
I'm wanting to try some new restaurants. I'm now in my 30th year of living close to Santa Fe, a city of many, many great restaurants. I have my old faithfuls, and I want to spend this year broadening my restaurant horizon. That may not be a good plan for a time that I'm trying to learn to eat differently.
I did some things ........ well, one thing .......... right.
Last night, I looked online at the menu and decided what I wanted to order. I was going to order a Baja Shrimp Salad with shrimp, fresh fruit, avocado, jicama, and field greens.
And I did some things wrong.
Donna and I got to the restaurant about 20 minutes before Nina and Elisa. So... we ordered chips and salsa and guacamole. First mistake.
Donna is sick and was trying to stick to bland foods so I ate most of the chips and salsa and guacamole. Second mistake.
20 minutes is a LONG time so, by the time Nina and Elisa had arrived, I had eaten all of the chips and salsa and guacamole. Third mistake.
In that 20 minutes, Donna and I also read and discussed nearly every word on the two-page menu.
So, when the waitress came, I ordered a thing called an Illegal Burrito. It was filled with potatoes, carnitas, cheese, and red 'n green and had two over-easy eggs on top.
And it was huge.
In an attempt to "grab a life jacket" and not drown in overeating, I asked for a to-go box before I started.
But I didn't use it...............
But those mistakes were all just typos in the grand scheme of things. The REAL mistake was this:
The words "emotionally uncomfortable" and "meal" should never be used together. If I am emotionally uncomfortable, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm not going to be vigilant or very conscious about what goes in my mouth.
And the really horrible thing is that before we had even walked back to the parking lot, I had the awareness that I had spent a lot of calories AND a lot of money - for something I didn't really enjoy. It wasn't even that good.
It's not going to be the last time that I have an emotionally uncomfortable meal.
But the lesson is, when I know that I'm uncomfortable, I need to PLAN to not be as conscious or vigilant while eating.
It's like planning to complete a job in the dark. Before hand, you make sure you know where you need to go, what you need to take, exactly what you need to do - because you know that you won't have light to make your job easier.
For me, eating - when my mind is preoccupied with something else - is eating in the dark. I have little awareness or knowledge of what I'm doing.
I wonder how many times I'm going to have to learn that lesson.
And what about the lesson IF SOMETHING ISN'T THAT GOOD, DON'T EAT IT! That's what skinny people do. I need a LOT of work on that one.