Wednesday, July 5, 2017

I Promised (to myself) Transparency

So, I'll tell you about today.
In 12 Step Programs, there is the slogan HALT.   It means
* don't get too Hungry
* don't get too Angry
* don't get too Lonely
* don't get too Tired

Well, I started today 'too tired'. I hosted a cookout yesterday and spent the day cleaning and preparing, then I was on the road this morning at 6:30 (which is still night time to me) making the first of two trips to Santa Fe.

I didn't have anything in my belly but coffee and by the time of the second trip, I was starving.  So I was "too hungry".  But I had lost my phone and spent an hour backtracking through Santa Fe to find it, so it was nearly 1:00 when B and I went to eat at India Palace.  It's been years since I've eaten there because they have a WONDERFUL Indian food buffet and I know that buffets and me should not hang out together.  But ...... "too tired" and "too hungry" = a set up for me to get in a toxic relationship with a buffet.

I don't understand Indian food, I don't know what's in it - all I know is that I love it two plates worth.   As soon as I stuffed it all in, I had a stomach ache that lasted all afternoon.  I took my first afternoon nap of the summer, then picked up B to go get a drink at Sonic later in the day.  I was still questioning whether I had food poisoning or was going to barf or was still just stuffed when these words came out of my mouth: "I don't know if I'm going to throw up or if I need American food".
B's words were "What in the hell are you talking about?"
My explanation was "My body feels like I ate too much Indian food and now I need a Sonic cheeseburger and fries to feel better."
B (who hates racism as I do) said "THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD!!!!!"
And I realized that I sounded like I was a food racist.  And I didn't even know there was such a thing!

But you know what??  That was exactly what my tummy needed.  It needed a greasy, fatty Sonic cheeseburger and fries.   Then my body was ok.  Fat, but no longer queasy.

Weird.

Love,
Jenn


1 comment:

  1. Jenn, it sounds like you need a safe person or "sponsor" to call or text when you are in a food emergency.

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